I have always been a planner. Even at a very young age, I began to plan out what college I wanted to go to, what I wanted to be when I grew up and many other things. I remember spending much of my childhood wishing away the years so I could grow up faster. I often lived for the end of things: end of this boring class, end of the school year, or for the end of this trial or that problem.
But over the years, I have learned to stop living for the future, stop regretting the past, and have learned instead to live in the present and to live for perfect moments. You know the kind of moments I’m talking about: that quiet moment when a new parent holds their infant in their arms for the first time or when you look into the eyes of the person you love across a room. I have come to the conclusion that when everyone tells you that life is not a destination, but a journey, this is what they mean.
I have had many perfect moments throughout my life, many more than I could ever share in a blog. But in this entry, I want to share a few, because I want to share with the people in my life how much they have touched me.
One such moment was standing on a hillside with my nephew, David, watching a lightning storm. It was during a Fourth of July celebration and as we watched the awesome display of lights across the sky he said “I wonder if God is celebrating Independence Day? Happy 4th of July God!” he called out. I joined him in the salutation and we grinned at each other.
Once, when I was five, I remember walking away from the house to get on the bus with my sisters and brothers for my first day of kindergarten. But for some reason, I couldn’t do it and I ran, crying, back to my mother’s arms. She didn’t chastise, she just simply held me and loved me, letting me know that it was going to be ok and then later drove me to school herself.
Another moment was sitting with my two sisters and one of my nieces, Alexandria, sharing stories and laughing. I remember looking at my niece who was twenty years old at the time and just feeling happy to see the fun, beautiful, intelligent and all-around great person she had turned out to be. I rejoiced that I had lived long enough to watch her grow up. I thought of all my nieces and nephews and just felt so proud at that moment to be their aunt.
Another perfect moment was while living in Cartagena, Colombia, I had an impression that my good friend and her family were in need of food. I quietly took her husband to the market and we shopped for about a month’s worth of food for them. As we arrived at her small apartment, she was cutting up her last potato to fry up for lunch for her daughters. When she saw the both of us walk in with the food, she began to weep as she had just been saying a prayer to God asking for help for her family. We hugged each other as she wept and I was thankful to a loving God allowing me to be of service to someone who had always been there for me.
There are so many other perfect moments: sitting in a restaurant with high school friends sharing memories; hugging my sisters when their words of wisdom again healed my heart; playing in an ocean in Cartagena with dear friends; having a picnic and playing baseball with my family; taking a ride on my dad’s foot when I was little; laughing with my students in class; dancing with my girlfriends, laughing with my missionary companion as we waded through ankle high puddles at night in the jungle; looking into the eyes of the man I loved while we stood on the streets of London; sharing long talks with an understanding friend on the phone; putting my arms around a niece or nephew to comfort them; and most of all, feeling peace while on my knees in prayer.
Smiles, laughter, and yes, even tears have made up my perfect moments in life. But the one common factor I have found in all these moments were that I was sharing them with someone I loved. That is what makes perfect moments . . . sharing life with the people we love. And in the end, isn’t that what life is all about?
The following words come from the song “For Good” from the musical Wicked. I dedicate them to all those people I have known who have touched my life and made me who I am today. Thank you to my parents, my family, my missionary companions, my teachers, my students, and all of my many, many friends for changing my life for the good.
“I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
If we let them and we help them in return.
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you.
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
(But I do believe I have been changed for the better)
Because I knew you…
Yes, because I knew you…
I have been changed… for good.”