The Mockery of Valentine’s Day


deadcupid(Disclaimer: these are my feelings.  I know they don’t pertain to every singleton out there.)

Valentine’s Day always brings out the worst in me. I have never, in my adult life, had a good Valentine’s Day.  Romance was not in my ex’s vocabulary and though I initially tried to make it special with my own thoughtful gestures, they were tossed off with a careless “thanks.”  Needless to say, between that and never having a boyfriend on this holiday, my enthusiasm has been slightly dampened for the day of “romance and love.”

For all of you “happily married” or “happily in a relationship” people, let me remind you what Valentine’s Day is like for the single woman over a “certain age.” (This may also be why some of your friends may not be jumping up and down when you tell them all about your romantic plans.)

If the day falls on a weekday, we see many women with beautiful bouquets of flowers, chocolate boxes or other gifts.  The chatter over the water cooler will be all about who is planning what for their special “amour” on this romantic day.  For the single woman, we usually smile, nod, and act interested when we know perfectly well that we are burning up with jealousy.

Then comes the dreaded question “What are your plans for Valentine’s Day?” And we must admit that our plans don’t contain a significant other.  My answers are usually “Oh, my friends and are hanging out” or something similar.  Or, on occasion, I flat out lie and make up this wonderful story of what I’m going to be doing to celebrate the detested holiday.  I also know that I will likely end up wrapped in a blanket with my Netflix movie and chocolate.  (By the way, did you know that they started selling chocolates on Valentine’s day because of the single women? Women in love really don’t need chocolate.)

Film Bridget Jones The Edge Of Reason
BRIDGET JONES (I so identify with this movie.)

If Valentine’s Day falls on a weekend, everywhere you go, you are bombarded with canoodling couples while your arms are empty.  One can often feel like they should be posting a sign on their foreheads that reads “reject.”

But the most painful experience is dealing with our own thoughts.  In our heads, we often face the reoccurring thought that there is something “wrong” with us.  This isn’t necessarily true, but when most other people around you are married, in a relationship or dating, you can’t help but wonder what you are doing that causes you to remain single as the years pass.  Unfortunately, that’s a complicated answer and different for everyone.  But being single during this holiday can often feel like a cruel form of emotional torture.
sad woman

So, as a single woman over a “certain age” let me remind the happily-ever-afters that on this holiday, don’t rapture over your significant other’s amazing plans or gifts to your single girlfriends.  We love you and we’re excited for you, but it’s a bit like rubbing lemon juice in a cut.  We’ll be excited with you on another day, but for this day (unless we ask), just leave us be or talk about anything else other than Valentine’s Day.

And for all those single women out there reading this, remember…fluffy pj’s, hot baths, chocolate and the cuddles of your pet friends can soften just about any heartache. (Almost.)

The gentle girl with a kitten. She is one at home. Cosy.
(I couldn’t resist the picture of the woman with the cat as most who know me know I’m a self-proclaimed “crazy cat lady.” 🙂




15 thoughts on “The Mockery of Valentine’s Day

  1. I hate this day too, Melissa. I equate it with 22 years of humiliation, reinforced each year, and certainly not anything resembling love. Luckily this year I get to go to a birthday party where cake, and not chocolate will be the featured attraction. 😉 ♡

  2. I understand the difficult situation that you pass through, to some extent. Though Valentine’ Day is yet to catch up very actively on this part of the world, I too have spent some significant time explaining why I won’t be going to a party, or why I am not celebrating, etc. I should confess – I too found solace in browsing the net, or reading a book during the day / season rather than thinking about venturing out. Stay home and do not let other people’s comments bother you. Have a nice day! 🙂

  3. It doesn’t pertain to this singleton, but a great write nonetheless.
    I don’t hate it. I just find that if you love someone every day should be valentines.
    All the best for the money making day.

    1. Well, thank you very much! My posts are not usually quite so cynical, I try to express mainly hope instead, but once in a while, another side pops out. LOL! And I agree with you, if you are in a relationship with someone you love, every day that should be acknowledged. Thank you for your comment!

      1. Well thank you ever so humbly! 😀 It’s been years I’ve been working on it now and I have found I love the process of blogging. Now I just need to work on actually marketing my own writing (which I’m really, really bad at. :p )

      2. Ain’t we all sister! Haha
        I’m shocking at that side! Seriously.
        Why can’t we just throw it out there and a higher consciousness deal with that marketing rubbish!? Haha

  4. I disdain most all holidays becuase if ever there weas a noble reason for creating them, they have been abscounded and held hostage by retailing mongers. Although we do cave to the conventions and try to honor one another on certain occasions, my husband of 27 years and I loathe the pressures of these things. He does thoughtful, loving things for me every day, thinks of me when he sees a sea turtle and tells people what a great cook I am. My ex used to being home $5 teacup roses on our every month anniversary in our first year, spent loads o cash on jewelry and things I never desired, all the while abusing me mentally and in the end physically as well. No measure of wealth can replace pure, simple adoration for another and for yourself! PS That’s why I leave work for lunch. I like being alone with my thoughts. People are good at disguising their own insecurities behind masks of prosperity. We all struggle. It is what makes us the same. Hugs and Happy You Day!

    1. I agree with you completely. Material possessions have never been important to me. To me it’s the thought that counts. My ex was not thoughtful and I think I rarely entered his thoughts at all. So, hopefully, someday I will meet that person who cherishes me for me and not what they hope I will become.

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