To See Through A Glass Darkly

tumblr_lxckxdgzrs1qac6sjo1_400_large“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” ~1 Corinthians 12:12~

Some people have their lives laid out. They are excellent at making goals and sticking to them.  They know where they will be one year from now, five years from now and twenty years from now.  I have never been one of those people.

Yes, it is true that I have made long-term goals and stuck to them and seen them fulfilled, but how I was to get there was rarely clear.

In the past seven years or so, my path has been obscured by a continual fog.  I would try going one direction only to find that way was blocked.  Then I would try another direction and that would end up in a muddy mess.  I would backtrack and try another route, only to find that it also did not work. At times, a ray of light would shine through the fog and I would think “Oh yes, now I know what to do!”  And then, as in the past, that endeavor would also fail.

Though I do not often talk about it, discouragement, failure, sadness and depression have been my companions often on a daily basis.  I’ve watered my pillow with more tears that I want to remember.

Yet through all of this, I have learned one lesson: the turtle won the race through constancy, not speed.  So though I continue to struggle through the fog, I know I will ultimately reach the goals I have set for myself.  I still don’t know how I will get there, but I trust that I will.  I now see through a glass darkly, but one day I hope to be on the other side of that glass.  And one day…I will see those dreams come true.

 

His Song

This was written long ago and originally meant to be a song, but it turned out to be more of a poem. I might turn it into lyrics someday, but for now, I felt it should be appreciated for just being what it is.  I think there’s a metaphor in that somewhere…we should all be appreciated just for what we are.  🙂  Love to you all…

London couple in the snow

His Song

Turning, whirling, around and around
Painted masks dancing
To a chaos of sound
Dawn comes, your face fades away
The fantasy ends
In the cold light of day.

How is it possible
That you still invade my dreams?
You flash upon my life
Like an unwanted memory
An unfinished painting gathering dust
Still waiting on the edge of my reality…

Please let me go
Please let me mend
Tear your soul from mine
Please let this agony end

With you I first tasted passion
Embracing on the callous streets
Soulmates at our first caress
Strangers after lies confessed

But if I let go of my tight control
I will lose this mask of sanity
I have tried so hard to hold.
Even with the passing years,
You are still the
Broken part of my soul.

Please let me go
Please let me mend
Tear your soul from mine
Please let this torment end

When will your tender touch
No longer caress my skin?
When will your soft voice
No longer echo within?
When will your words fade from my mind?
When will I put your love behind?

Please let me go
Please let me mend
Take your bittersweet memories
And please, dear God, just let this love end…

The Shell

Rough bark hewn from the tree

seashell_alone_on_beach_doormat-r77201b4f8030415e989e8e9a36f7affe_jftbl_1024

Is not unlike your surface

Making you appear unwanted

Old, alone on the expanse of sand.

Darkly-colored lines and peach furrows

Scar your surface.

Nothing to attract you to me…

Nothing to make me turn you over…

To see the metallic luster of pearls

Shining like the copper pot on my kitchen shelf

To see the seam smooth as glass

Showing us you were torn from your better half.

Nothing to make me pick you up…

And hold you tightly in the palm of my hand.

Elusive

 

kiss

Like the emerald green flash

That appears for but a sweet moment

Across a jaded ocean…

As taunting and fragile

As a snowflake in spring

Disappearing in the air…

Like the fading memory

Of a perfect dream

Waking to a gray morning…

As brief as the heated glance

Of desire when your fingers

Callously brushed mine…

As fleeting as your last phantom kiss

On my lips

Wet with salty tears…

And as transitory as the shifting ground

Upon which your vows

Were declared…

So was the immortal love

You falsely swore would be mine…

Forever.

The Ghost of Me

(My most recent attempt at a poem.  I hope you enjoy it.)

Glyn Baker [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Ghost of Me

I found you…

In the most unexpected of places

In forget-me-nots in wild spaces

In a blue dress drying in the open air

And the simple words of a humble prayer

In silver hair bands intertwined

And the happy sigh of a contented mind

In pink-flowered pillows

And the purr of a cat

In the grace of the willows

And a black, velvet hat

In the passing scent of lilacs in the air

And the warm embrace of another’s care

In the sun-filled rays of inspiration

And the stormy winds of imagination

I found you again…

The little ghost of me

And I found once more

A joy in the journey.