“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” ~1 Corinthians 12:12~
Some people have their lives laid out. They are excellent at making goals and sticking to them. They know where they will be one year from now, five years from now and twenty years from now. I have never been one of those people.
Yes, it is true that I have made long-term goals and stuck to them and seen them fulfilled, but how I was to get there was rarely clear.
In the past seven years or so, my path has been obscured by a continual fog. I would try going one direction only to find that way was blocked. Then I would try another direction and that would end up in a muddy mess. I would backtrack and try another route, only to find that it also did not work. At times, a ray of light would shine through the fog and I would think “Oh yes, now I know what to do!” And then, as in the past, that endeavor would also fail.
Though I do not often talk about it, discouragement, failure, sadness and depression have been my companions often on a daily basis. I’ve watered my pillow with more tears that I want to remember.
Yet through all of this, I have learned one lesson: the turtle won the race through constancy, not speed. So though I continue to struggle through the fog, I know I will ultimately reach the goals I have set for myself. I still don’t know how I will get there, but I trust that I will. I now see through a glass darkly, but one day I hope to be on the other side of that glass. And one day…I will see those dreams come true.
This was written long ago and originally meant to be a song, but it turned out to be more of a poem. I might turn it into lyrics someday, but for now, I felt it should be appreciated for just being what it is. I think there’s a metaphor in that somewhere…we should all be appreciated just for what we are. 🙂 Love to you all…
Turning, whirling, around and around Painted masks dancing To a chaos of sound Dawn comes, your face fades away The fantasy ends In the cold light of day.
How is it possible That you still invade my dreams? You flash upon my life Like an unwanted memory An unfinished painting gathering dust Still waiting on the edge of my reality…
Please let me go Please let me mend Tear your soul from mine Please let this agony end
With you I first tasted passion Embracing on the callous streets Soulmates at our first caress Strangers after lies confessed
But if I let go of my tight control I will lose this mask of sanity I have tried so hard to hold. Even with the passing years, You are still the Broken part of my soul.
Please let me go Please let me mend Tear your soul from mine Please let this torment end
When will your tender touch No longer caress my skin? When will your soft voice No longer echo within? When will your words fade from my mind? When will I put your love behind?
Please let me go Please let me mend Take your bittersweet memories And please, dear God, just let this love end…
It came today…the sun. Just when I had lost faith And cold despair was taking hold… It edged over the frozen horizon Spreading its careful warmth. Slowly I lifted my head To the forgotten feeling of light And felt the healing… And the promise… Of better days to come.