Deep breath…
Exhale…
Shoulders drop and release
Pain slides away
Peace comes in its place
I let go…
Of gritted teeth
Of poisonous words
Of irrational rages
Of the pretense of love
I let go…
Of daily excuses
And drunken tears
Of empty promises
And unspoken fears
I let go…
And turn away
From the darkness to light
To a new path
To a new life
I let go…
March snow drips heavily
Seeping into muddy fields
While waiting seeds yield
Another season of spring
Another tree bends in the wind
Whether it be palm or oak or willow
Another April tulip sways
Another June sunset closes the day
The August days of heat
Paint an October scarlet leaf
And another storm laden cloud
Blows the December snow into drifts…
It all blends together
in this chaos of living
Pain, joy, birth, death
Nothing more than a breath…
Another life begins
Another life ends…
And so the round clock
Sets the course of our lives
Continuously…
Momentarily…
Temporarily…
Constantly…
Until we reach
Beyond the unseen veil
“The undiscovered country
From whose bourn
No traveller returns…”
And the loud ticking minutes
Of a mortal journey
Become the peaceful serenity
Of gentle eternity
She clad herself in a gossamer dress of iridescent clouds And donned a pair of starshine slippers She wrapped herself in the shawl of an amethyst sunset And adorned her head with a crown of fairy lights The Star Wanderer was off to a new adventure New fantasies called And with a periwinkle twinkle In her endless eyes She called to me in my dreams We flew away on ballet wings through the Milky Way dancing around the Andromeda galaxy whirling through Cassiopeia's stars waving gaily at Pegasus We sipped golden cups of dew with sleepy morning glories Laughed with the Effervescent man in the moon And swam with merry mermaids in faraway indigo oceans We crashed loud cymbals of thunder And played chase with the lightning Racing the laughing wind Over summer fields Of green and gold and lavender And as the rays of an early sun Began to light the eastern sky The Star Wanderer and I Made our way back to my dreams Where I blinked my sleepy eyes And smiled... At the starshine slippers on my pillow.
We loved first in our dreams... You reached from beyond into my unconscious mind and found me in the realms of fantasy Falling in love was as easy as breathing And we did with an intensity that seemed To brush the very tenets of my soul Every spiritual nerve tingled As we laughed at jokes As you tenderly touched my face As your arms reached around me And we sighed in perfect contentment It was a fullness of joy... That still companions me in my waking hours You reminded me how to love... Which I'm holding in my heart Until we meet again.
(This was a poem I wrote a few years ago, but it seems appropriate for today.)
Brushing off the dust of yesterday’s heartaches
I find the whisper of a forgotten smile
Like the gentle caress of falling petals
From a long-ago spring…
Becoming a breath of hope for tomorrow.
We are doing something different today. So I was challenged by my sister to use some of these funny, crazy words in a sentence (they are in the picture). I love a writing challenge, so turned it into a silly poem instead.
On a rickety front porch
Sat one persnickety old man
Who lived in the valley
Of a town called Spokane
He grumbled and mumbled
When the neighborhood children
Would create another brouhaha
With their ridiculous shenanigans
Their noise and laughter
Disturbed his afternoon naps
As he sat in his rocker
Drinking his lemonade Schnapps
One hot day some rascally kids
Decided to play an unkind joke
They threw a glass of water
On the sleeping old goat
“You young whippersnappers,” he called
“I’ll wallop the lot of you!
Skedaddle from my yard,” he yelled
As he threw his old shoe.
Feeling bad for what they had done
The young children decided to make
Some gifts to say sorry
So they picked flowers and made a cake.
On tenterhooks they crept up
To the sleeping old man
Laying down a pumpernickel cake,
And flowers in a can
When the old man woke up
And saw the presents before him
He was completely gobsmacked
And his frown turned to a grin.
So remember young ones
When you have the choice
Find the strength to be kind
And share your compassionate voice.
Waltzing in your arms
On the sifting sands
Swaying to the rhythm
Of the hushed waves
As the colors of dawn
Sang a silent song
Only the winking stars
And the rustling palms
Had been witnesses
To our fleeting romance
Our eyes sang a lyrical melody
Our entwined fingers
Played a symphony
With a rising crescendo
Of unspoken emotions
Our lips met…
Desire, passion, love, frustration
And hopelessness crashed
Into one unforgettable moment
Of impossible longing
We watched the stars disappear
As we held onto the night
That could never last
We fought farewell
As the notes of our symphony
Faded into a minor key
With one last wistful kiss
We watched the curtains fall on our dream
As the rising sun of our new reality
Made its melancholy debut
I wrote this a few years ago. Originally meant to be a song, I had an expert lyricist look at it and then tell me her thoughts. First she said it was a poem, not a song. She was correct on that. It is a poem, thus I have chosen to publish it here. She also said it was too sad, too “victim” and that no one could relate to it. Well, she obviously didn’t pay attention to the end, because as always, it turns around and gives one hope. Somehow I think she was wrong and that more people can relate to this than she thinks. And unfortunately, this is more true now than it was when I first wrote it, but I still see light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing Left to Lose
Sitting on an empty floor
Watching the window and the door
Hoping that some inspiration
Will come through this time
No money, no career, no lover, no home
I’ve never felt so defeated and alone
Don’t feed me some kind of cliche line
that kind of fiction won’t work this time
I’ve got nothing left to lose
Nothing left to prove
Nothing left to confess
No one left to impress
Just me…
I have worked every job and moved every year
Began a hundred times and cried too many tears
Running a race that never seems to end
Begging for something that would help it all make sense
I’ve got nothing left to lose
Nothing left to prove
Nothing left to confess
No one left to impress
Just me…
But I realize that maybe it’s time to try again
So with quiet conviction and a shaky hand
I push myself up off the floor
Let my imagination roam once more
I will build up from the ashes of my life
And give my dreams at least one more try
I guess I do have something left to lose
I do have one thing left to prove
I have more that I want to express
But only one person left to impress…
Just me
Lemon daffodil sunshine
Crayon blue skies
Pale rose tinged clouds
And lark song greet the sunrise
The world is awaking…
But as I stare out the window
After a long, dark night
Feeling the unspoken fear
Of unfulfilled promises
I turn away from the light…
Too many times
My butterfly hopes have faded
With a final flutter
Over the wishful horizon
They disappeared…
So just for today
I close the curtains
And burrow down
In the blue shadows
To hide my heart away…
Tomorrow will come
With bright hope renewed
But today I hush the world
To find the inner strength
To try again…
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
I stand at my window
Studying the elusive stars
In a moonless sky
Listening to the silence
Of a sleeping world
Cradling wishing dust in my hand
In simple innocence
I close my eyes…
I am wrapped in your arms
Resting my head
Against the strength of your heart
Content in our joy
Stillness in the moment
Feeling without saying
Knowing without words
Loving in silent rhyme…
I open my eyes…
I stand alone at the window
Fairy dust clenched in my fingers
I slowly let it go
Whispering the closely held wishes
Of a lonely heart
I watch it disappear into the stars
Still quietly hoping…
Several faces cross my mind
Memories of dried up wishes
Daydream bouquets wilted
Another handful of dry petals
Blowing away as I toss them
Into the cold spring wind…
March lions hail down
Pellets of frozen ice
Winds slice through my armor
another false disguise
Pulling my coat closer feeling resigned
I turn and bump into you.
A flash of immortal fire
splits the darkening skies
Two souls find each other
through the meeting of startled eyes
And suddenly with a lightning view
I realize in all of those confusing faces…
I was searching for you.
I knew you a long time ago…
When spirit touched spirit
And our minds were intertwined
There were no obstacles
Such as distance
Or baggage
Or heartbreak…
There was just us
Believing we could fight the world
To find each other again
It was simple…
Before life interfered
And we found ourselves
Far from each other
With a veiled mind
And no remembrance of carefree days
Running through the stars
Nor the tender promises
Two innocent souls had made
Years have passed…
And time has mellowed my heartache
But I still wait for you
For our breathless reunion
When with a hesitant glance
Our eyes will meet
Our spirits will touch
The flame will rekindle
And we will smile
Remembering just a glimpse
Of eternity…
Glancing through old photos
I found one of you.
One that I had forgotten…
And I quietly withdrew
The ache surprised me…
I had not expected
That familiar twinge
Nor the silent tears
One photo…
Memories of laughter
and tender plans
of a woman in love
With an unforgettable man
A reminder of a pipe dream
that was just a mirage
A memory of love
That was only mine…
I know I have been consigned
To the distant corners
Of your heedless mind
I’m just another woman
In your long line of hopefuls
Just another distraction.
Just another wasted attraction
Just another faded illusion
Just another so-called friend…
Unable to throw your photo away
It gets packed for another day
When my heart is healed
and I close that door
When the sweetness
of your embraces
Don’t hurt anymore
When I am strong enough
To finally forget…
You will be nothing more
Than another Auld Lang Syne.
‘Tis time! ‘Tis time!
They gleefully cried
And the medieval muses
rushed to my side…
Gather round my friends
and ye shall hear
Of Melissa’s adventures
Both far and near
Of enchanted castles
And storybook tales
of mystical fairies
And love that never fails…
I couldn’t resist the storybook poetic beginning. England just seems to bring it out of me. I think Shakespeare would have been proud, don’t you? Ha!
I’m finally getting around to writing about some of my other adventures in my brief sojourn to Brockenhurst. This time we visit a country manor (a castle in my opinion), stumble upon a fairy tale wedding, and I even captured a photo of a fairy! (It looks like one to me anyway.)
On a cool, rainy November day, I visited nearby Rhinefield House. Driving up a one lane road, the stunning scenery was lined with ancient oak trees in their prime of autumn colors. Then the car turned the corner and the castle came into view. Catching my breath, I just uttered “Wow!” This old castle turned hotel was the epitome of elegance and refinement with years of history around every corner.
Though it was closed when I visited, the Alhambra Room is an artistic masterpiece and the story goes that a woman had it built for her husband as a smoking room. She wanted him to be able to smoke in luxury. I think she achieved her aim, don’t you? (Ah the whims of the wildly wealthy…)
Of course, such a place is a magnet for weddings and there was one in preparation the day I visited. I peeked in the medieval banquet hall to take a photo and was stunned by the wedding cake in the opposite corner. No that’s not a fake photo…the cake was about 10 feet tall. I’m only in the picture so you can judge by my height ( a mere 5’4). Complete with waterfall, I decided that it must have belonged to a fairytale princess. It just seemed like it should belong to royalty. In fact, the whole room seemed to have an enchanted glow about it as I gazed on it from above.
From the grand interior, I exited to silently stroll around the considerable and beautiful grounds…fountains, ponds, autumn arbors and open vistas graced every turn.
Even an old, hidden door beckoned one to secrets that lay beyond…
But time was waning and the secrets of the old castle would have to wait for another day. Perhaps someday I will return…only destiny knows, but with so much country left to explore, it will likely be just another memory tucked away into my love affair with England.
And what of fairies? On a cold, early Sunday morning as I was making my way across the fields towards the train station, I stopped in awe as the sunrise seemed to catch the light of every dewdrop and turned the whole glittering scene into a magical panorama. I had to take several pictures.
While going back through them, I found something I had not seen when I took the photo. If you look on the path, you will notice a small blue light. To me, it looked just like a blue fairy. Had I just stumbled upon her as she was finishing her morning rounds of painting each blade of grass with dew? Who knows? Choose to believe what you will, but while visiting England, magic found me and with it, I found childlike wonder in the every day.
So closes this 2nd chapter of my adventures in Brockenhurst. Will there be more? Yes, for the muses tell me there must be. The magic must be shared… 🙂
Do you know that I write for you?
Do you read what I cannot speak?
My similes are wishes…
Declarations of admiration
My metaphors weep tears
Of silent yearning
My heart beats in tender sonnets
That I fear to even whisper…
And when my pen is dry
I dip it in the ink of my soul
For therein lies the truth
Not masked by politeness
Raw, unrefined and unstained by lies
In the stare of innocent honesty
I cannot hide the desire in my eyes
To finally see yours loving the reality
Of me…
I must tread softly…
For they do not come
As in times past
When my innocent eyes
Could see the lights
Dancing and beckoning
And I could hear
Merry music laughing
These days I must wait
In the softening twilight
For the prosaic realities of day
To melt away…
And the curtain of willows
to rise on the merriment
Under the colorful canopy
Of Autumn hues
They come in golden auras
Feather light with silver songs
Singing and swaying
To the silent music
Only they hear…
They see me and beckon…
Delicate and delighted we dance
Finding a fairy’s fantasy
In a forlorn reality
Ancient ruins and timeworn walls
We are holding on…
To the bygone magic of yesteryear
I am alive…I am new again
As the frustrations of my soul
are released to the air
To dance to Shakespeare’s ethereal lyre
Of this Mid Autumn night’s dream…
It seems to be a paradox to miss someone
That I haven’t even met
But I miss you my forever friend
Though our paths have not crossed as yet
I miss the laughter we will share
At silly jokes and mismatched socks
At badly cooked dinners,
And memories waiting in a box.
I miss the flowers you will bring me
When I’m feeling a little blue
Or the moments you will hold me
When our joys seem far too few.
I miss the rainy nights
When I will massage your headache away…
Where I will bring you a cup of tea
As you tell me about your day
I miss those sweet hours to be,
Just wanting to be close…
When in front of the Christmas tree
We will cuddle as it snows
My hand brushes the blanket
On the lonely side of the bed
Where in the future I will listen
To your quiet breathing instead
Though you will be part
Of my happily ever after
I’m missing you, my darling
In this my lonely now…
Distant shores are calling…
I find myself in the car heading north
Ending in an evening ramble
In the Northern wild forests
My soul soars as I leave behind
the chains of an invisible prison.
Are the distant pines on fire?
No…the fiery, orange Harvest moon rises,
blazing triumphantly over the fading landscape.
I pull my jacket a little tighter
As the heat of the day succumbs
to the fresh, sweet night air.
It’s 2 am now…the silence here is profound.
No cars, no crickets, no birds…
No other sounds than the distant call of an elk…
Its mournful cry a story of nature primeval.
I had forgotten how silent nature can be.
It’s just me and the moon and the wind…
and oh how bewitching it is!
A part of me remembers this…the silence
Childhood adventures climbing
Over amber-colored hill tops
Dreaming of castles in the air…
When the silence permeated my soul
Like music in the wind.
My life has come full circle
And the little me still sees
Hope on the horizon of my life…
Some dreams fulfilled, some yet to be…
As sweet September turns another page
I stand still…
This perfect moment soon to be
Another memory in the book of my life.
(Some favorite pictures of my recent road trip to Idaho and Yellowstone.)
Dark, majestic, somber pines…citadels of the night.
She weaves in and out of them draped in white,
Both human and spirit in this other worldly moment
She is at one with the secret of the trees.
The crescent moon softens the darkness,
Just enough light to illuminate the path.
As one solitary owl calls for it’s mate,
Ancient stones and fairy lights accompany the dance.
She is seeking impossible answers
Revealing her veiled secrets to the breathless air
She is the guardian of her silence
Only the moon witnesses the whisper of her prayer.
Just one more turn before the chill sets in
Just one more moment to wistfully dream
One more moment to rescue the innocence within
Before the reality of life chains her spirit yet again.
For my future “him”
I would whisper your name in dreamy reverie
…if I knew what it was.
I would play you a tender melody
…if I knew the music that moved you
I would stroll beaches with our fingers entwined
…if I knew which hand was yours.
I would rest my weary heart in your arms
…if I knew which arms would hold me.
I would blush at your endearments
…if I knew the sweet tones of your voice.
I would bend softly to your kisses
…if I knew which lips to kiss.
I would say yes to a lifetime with you
…if only I knew who to say it to.
Wallflower Blossoming 